careless & happiness

life would be beautiful

It sucks. When the pills you have to take don’t even seem to help. When you try your best to be nice, but you still end up getting screwed over. When your dad isn’t even around for you, but is for your sibling. When you don’t get into school the year you actually want to go. When you feel like you have no one to turn to because no one wants to listen to you ‘complain.’ Holding it all in is the worst, but yet the best thing you could do. Yet, there is only so much you can hold in for so long until everything begins to crash down.

3 weeks ago when they wanted me to be hospitalized for my condition, I feel like I should have listened. It would have gotten me away from everything that is making me fall apart, and maybe there I would fall back together. Everyone has a story, I’ve learnt not to judge a soul because no one knows what they go through behind closed doors. Anyone can make themselves look happy, it’s not hard even though it’s hard to keep your head held up high.

I needed to vent somewhere so I chose here only because if you read this I either don’t know you or I’m not close with you. Sleepless nights and deep thoughts, my bad but 1/3 of my stress needs to be let go of some how.